My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
