yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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