my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i've created a new STD.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
