lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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