Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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