My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
420 ftw
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
