yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize