the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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