I hate your face
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
