God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
