Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
