Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
