Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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