is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
