Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
