My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You can't special order awesome
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
