How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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