apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
zippers are such a cool invention
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
