Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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