all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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