I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize