Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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