That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
