tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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