I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You were trust falling into bushes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize