You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this will be a night to untag.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
