I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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