I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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