Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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