I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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