hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
