Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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