I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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