She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
