I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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