Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
