yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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