Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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