its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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