Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
