Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
