I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
