the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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