She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
