I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
