the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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