they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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