the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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