so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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