I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize