you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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