phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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