Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
