So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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