I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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